am I a hypocrite???

Being that I am an aspiring fashion designer I try to learn all aspects that are part of the industry from garments to shoes, handbags and accessories. Lately I've been working a lot with leather and I'm kind of ashamed to say out loud that I love the end product that comes from it. But I've been so torn lately on the issues of the treatment of these animals and how we get these products.

I recently watched the Earthlings trailer and I haven't been able to bring myself to watch the whole documentary because I was so upset after watching just the trailer!!!

I can live with faux fur, I think that we have wonderful alternatives to fur now. However, I feel I have yet to find an alternative to leather that is comparable enough to use. I have been trying to research this and all I can seem to find is places to buy goods that are produced with alternatives rather than buying the raw goods themselves. I know I'm very low scale right now but I'd like to know what my options are and if it is possible for me to produce a quality of garment that meets my standards with an alternative.

Which brings me to another point. What about the items I buy regularly? I &hearts shoes and handbags!!! All my sneakers and heels are made of leather!!! I don't want to be a 'meat eating vegetarian'!!! I can't produce items using alternatives and turn around and buy some new sneakers made of leather!!! What's the right answer here??? Most of my friends will say that I need to just "do what you gotta do", they're not bad people. They don't hate animals. They just have business mentalities and understand that in this industry we deal with many controversial subjects and sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and keep it pushin'. I can hear the gays right now telling me, 'you gotta make that paper booboo.'

I guess for now I shall be a hypocrite. Although my heart aches when I think about what these animals go through. I don't have a solution to the problem. I wish I had the strength to say that I could go through my life with out using any animal product again I honestly don't think I could. Please don't hate me PETA!!! I really love what yall are about!!! Maybe my voice needs to be about a more humane way to get the things that we want from these animals. Until I figure it all out I'll just be here...